Monday Merriments

[Ratickle]

A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one--holding onto their "weewees" to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.

Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be in the 5th.":huh:

"No, ma'am," he replied, "I'm the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the 4th, but thanks for the lift."

 

[Ratickle]

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.

One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"

"Yeah," says the other cowboy.

"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."

Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."

"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend.

"This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing, I don't know how he can figure that much out!"



:huh:



The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."

 

[rschap1]

Lucky jockey
Poor Indian

 

[old377guy]

wasn't Tonto "Bubba" Goldstein was it?

 

[Bobcat]

BREAKING NEWS..........,A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying.....YUP......."We have absolutely nothing to go on."

 

[old377guy]

ouch!!

 

[Ratickle]

wasn't Tonto "Bubba" Goldstein was it?

:sifone: