Dude, how the hell did you trip across FurnaceFace? They are a local Ottawa Indie band that has been around forever.
I couldn't find a decent copy of The Ballad of Richard Iommi, but here are the lyrics....
The Ballad of Richard Iommi
This is the ballad of Richard Iommi. Richard was a typical suburban teenager. He lived with his parents and spent most of his time hanging out with his friends, listening to records and smoking dope in his room in the basement. There was only one difference between Richard and a typical suburban teenager--he was totally obsessed with Tony Iommi. For those of you who don't know, Tony Iommi is the guitarist in the rock 'n' roll group Black Sabbath. Richard idolized him.
CHORUS:
He believed, he believed, he believed he was the son of Tony
He changed his name, he changed his name, he changed his name to Iommi
But Richard's devotion to Tony Iommi didn't end there. Not only did he change his last name, but he began buying vintage musical equipment circa 1969. His goal was to obtain the same make and model of guitars and amplifiers that his idol had used. He even got a 72-piece drum kit* just like Bill Ward's. Richard and his best friend would go down to the basement, get really wasted, and set up all the equipment like a shrine. They talked about the day that they would form their band. Richard, of course, would be the guitarist.--CHORUS
One day Richard and his best friend were down in the basement. Richard was cutting pictures of Tony Iommi out of old Creem magazines and pasting them in a huge collage on his wall. His friend was playing with the tuner on Richard's stereo when suddenly they both heard something that would change their lives. Lee Aaron was coming to their town. For those of you who don't know, Lee Aaron is the very talented and lovely Canadian rock singer who's also known as the Metal Queen. Richard and his friend loved Lee Aaron second only to Tony Iommi. Richard knew he had to somehow meet Lee Aaron and tell her the secret of his lineage.
He believed, he believed, he believed he was the son of Tony
He went to see, he went to see, he went to see the Metal Queen
On the day of the show, Richard was so excited he could barely move. In the afternoon he went down to the concert hall early in hopes of catching a glimpse of her. Suddenly, there she was. Everything in the world faded away, and before he knew it he was telling her about the double-neck guitar, the 72-piece drum kit, and why he changed his name. The Metal Queen listened, and in a single sentence brought his entire world crashing down!
"Like, why don't you sell that **** and get a life?"
He believed, he believed, he believed he was the son of Tony
The Metal Queen, the Metal Queen, the Metal Queen smashed his dreams--CHORUS