Funny joke

[catastrophe]

>A black man and his wife were going to a Halloween party in a couple of
>days. So, the husband tells his wife to go to the store and get costumes
>for
>them to wear.
>
>When he comes home that night, he goes into the bedroom and there laid out
>on the bed is a Superman costume.
>
>The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of
>a
>black Superman? Take this back and get me
>something else I can wear."
>The next day, the wife, not too happy, returns the costume and gets a
>replacement.
>
>The husband comes home from work goes to the bedroom, and there, laid out
>on the bed, is a Batman costume. He again yells at his wife, "What are you
>doing? Have you ever heard of a black Batman? Take this back and get me
>something I can wear to the costume party!"
>
>The next morning, his irate wife goes shopping. When the husband comes
>home
>again from work, there laid out on the bed are three items: One is a set of
>three white buttons. The second is a thick white belt, and the third item
>is 2 x 4 piece of wood.
>
>The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?"
>
>The wife yells back, "Take your clothes off. You can put the three white
>buttons on the front of you and go as a domino. If you don't like that one,
>you can put the white belt on and go as an Oreo. And if you don't like
>that
>one, you can stick the 2 x 4 up your ass and go as a fudgesicle.
>
>

 

[BBB725]

Some Blonde jokes


BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away...Florida or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor.'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET
A police offic er stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible! ' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, th en she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day . The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the m oon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You' ll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her frien d said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that ? '

'HELLLOOOOOOO. .....,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs!

 

[Ridin Hood]

Very Nice!!!

 

[Awaken]

Top 10 Halloween Phrases That Sound Dirty

10. She's a goblin!

9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack.

8. Let me see your bag....OH! You're having a great night!

7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.

6. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.

5. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.

4. Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you see my Zagnuts.

3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth...

2. You scared me stiff!

1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!


Top 10 Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating Is Better Than Sex

10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.

6. The person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else.

5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.

4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.

3. It doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. You have less guilt the next morning.

1. IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!

 

[stecz20]

i just heard a good one...

jewish guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, bartender says where did you get that.. the parrot says, brooklyn the're everywhere.....

 

[Sea-Dated]

Nice

 

[Trim'd Up]

How can you tell a mechanic just had sex?
One of his fingers is clean!

What do you call a lesbian eskimo?
A Klondike!

Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
It changes your blood type.

 

[Perlmudder]

what do you call a lesbian with big fingers?

well-endowed!